Why Does No One Read the Manual?
by sirensoundwave
Summary: It's written for a reason. One special ops soldier is about to learn this the hard way. His assignment involving being responsible for the League's kids all summer has to be a prank. Right? Right?
1. Why Does No One Read the Manual

This is just something silly that will not leave me alone. If I continue this, it'll be a one shot series. Many thanks to MistressOfRobins and all the others like her who have written wee!YJ fics as well as the relaunch of Tiny Titans at ComicCon '12 that inspired this random piece of insanity. It isn't YJ compliant in the least and exists as its own 'verse.

I own nothing but OC's and the plot. If I did, this would be it's own show and Superman wouldn't be such a jerk to Conner.

Onward!

Why Does No One Read the Manual?

When one is called upon by their superiors and handed a dossier with top secret information, they don't expect to be told the assignment is to be a nanny for the summer.

Maxwell Pross expected there to be some guys from his unit jumping out from god knows where with a camera. Telling him he should have seen his face, laughing about it for a good while and then all of them to go out for drinks. After 10 whole minutes of uncomfortable silence, he started to doubt the idea and stared at his commanding officer as if she'd had grown another head.

"Err...Ma'am?"

"Pross, you are aware of the Justice League correct?" Commander Hofte asked.

"Yes." Who wasn't?

"What many are not aware of is that despite their skills, at the end of the day they are people too. People with families that they want to but cannot protect all the time. As a gesture of goodwill between the League and the US Government, a solution to this issue was decided upon; on a trial basis. That file contains the details of your assignment." She gestured to the thick red folder.

The file contained very sensitive information about America's All-Stars...that they had children. Very young children that were supposedly almost as deadly as their parents. Children he was being assigned to watch for 8 hours of each day and some 24 hour periods over the summer. Right. The oldest was 10 years old. Letting anyone of them remotely near the crap their folks dealt with on a daily basis was cause for a full CPS investigation. There were 8 listed for whom he would assume responsibility. He read the reports growing more disbelieving with each head shot.

The first was shocking to say the least; Robin, Batman's son. The first thing written was "appearances are deceiving". Raising a brow and reading further along he saw why. He was utterly adorable but the 7 year old had just as many skills listed as a trained operative from his division. Acrobatics, gymnastics, martial arts (hand to hand as well as various weapons), skill with engineering and hacking. The boy could barely handle the english language and he could already run circles around new recruits (and some of his co-workers). This had to be a joke. Everyone knew that the guy who ran around dressed like a giant bat was borderline psychotic. Just ask the routine returnees to Arkham. No way he had a child.

Next was the freckled ginger known as Kid Flash. Super speed, healing,the metabolism of a humming bird and supercharged brain activity. At only 8, this also meant the kid showed abilities beyond his age too. A regular junior chemist, the same way Madame Curie only dabbled in radioactive element research. There were attached notes in messy second grade scrawl that he'd bet only their lab-rats would understand. While he supposed the metagene that gave Flash his abilities could be inherited, that level of intelligence at his age wasn't. If it were, why wasn't CalTech beating down his door with scholarship offers?

The third picture was of another red head, though this one had more native american the others, the 10 year old looked harmless. Speedy, Green Arrow and Black Canary's son, had the same trademarks as his father; superior archery skills, hand to hand combat, gymnastics, and a degree of stealth. The expression on the child's face was a little off putting if you believed what this file claimed he was capable of.

A 9 year old African American boy with gills and blonde hair was next. Pross knew straight away this was Aqualad. Atlanteans did come in more than one color apparently. The water mojo, super strength and electrical abilities were possible, considering he didn't know much about our neighbors in the deep but no way this kid could break down a metal door with his bare foot. This was getting ridiculous.

Yet another red head. As a change of pace this one was green and female. Her age had two numbers. Mars: 8. Earth:15. He'd never given much thought to the fact that Mars revolved around the sun at a slower rate. Martian Manhunter's niece had psychic and shapeshifting powers like her guardian but it was noted that when her mind wandered so did her abilities. Instruction not to scream if she became a totally different child or things levitated was in bold. Out of all the kids, she seemed the most likely to be exactly what her file claimed.

A picture of a miniature Superman was next. Superboy was literally a clone of his father. To the Lieutenant's relief he only had a handful of the Man of Steel's abilities. The super human strength, sight, hearing and being pretty much indestructable were all the 8 year old had in under his skills. Considering his father could fly, cause tornadoes with a sneeze and shoot heat rays out of his eyes, that wasn't so bad. He snorted. They could do wonders with photoshop these days. No moron would even attempt to clone the League powerhouse; it was bad enough the only way to weaken the adult version was in such short supply. One guy being that powerful was sure to end badly, why make another? Besides how do you get a sample from a guy whose skin was harder than steel? Next.

Number five was also another archer. Artemis was Speedy's little sister, a few months older than Kid Flash. Blonde hair, asian features and deep brown eyes. She seemed tiny but he'd never been around many little girls so she could have been average sized for her age. Same skills as her brother and father; except her file also had a bold type tag. Do not make her cry, Speedy will hurt you. Pross doubted any of these supposed superkids were much of a threat so he wrote it off. Their mentors abilities were the result of training and years they'd yet to see; powers or not.

The next was another little girl most likely from the mediterranean sea area. Her black hair done up in pigtails and her costume a tuxedo with a skirt instead of pants. Zatanna, age 8, was an apprentice magician who's tricks weren't an illusion. Her father proved that on a regular basis. Not much else was listed in her skill set. Lost their imagination had they? He was so going to get Bleis and Hofte (the commander's nephew) for this stupid ass stunt.

The last one in the main folder was an african american girl. Rocket, Icon's adopted daughter, had a special belt that allowed her to fly and use Newton's three laws to her advantage. Most notably was the force field she generated. It took the energy exerted on it and used it to make itself stronger. The harder something hit it, the harder it resisted. She didn't have any other abilities listed. So he stopped reading. Something he'd done for each child and would come back to bite him in the ass later. At the time it didn't matter. He was still waiting for someone to yell "You just got Punk'd!".

"Ma'am, with all due respect, why are trained military operatives being scouted as babysitters? Couldn't other superheroes do the job?" Pross found the reading interesting but still didn't see why the ultra secretive league was even considering the military. Something had to be up.

"...Someone did something less than professional and even further from intelligent and that is all I am at liberty to say." She sighed.

Bingo. Translation: Someone in the government pissed off the world's most powerful group of people and this was some sort of repayment. "This is the salary you will be paid for the 3 month test run."

"..." Pross stared at the contract. The bottom portion was a check. "I think there's an error ma'am. There are only supposed to be two places after the decimal."

"That's not a decimal lieutenant, it's a comma." The corner of her lip tugged into a smirk when he made an interesting noise. "This job requires diplomacy, patience, an extensive and decorated military background and at least some experience dealing with children. You were recommended because you have all these qualifications. It also comes with full health benefits-you could become radioactive 7 years from now and they'll buy you a lead lined suit so long as you could prove the it originated from this assignment."

This had gone on long enough. Com. Hofte was known for her sense of humor but really? He had drills to run in the morning-

Ping!

Hofte motioned that it was alright and Pross took out his cellphone. He then checked the email that had been sent. It was from his bank kindly notifying him of the recent deposit the size of a JPL scientist's yearly pay into his account. Okay, maybe there was something to this.

So, that's how he found himself in Happy Harbor New Jersey with 120 days worth of personal effects. He was told to arrive at the main entrance of this base at 07:00 that Saturday, enter his access code and wait until his liaison arrived. Simple right?

Not hardly.

He punched in the temporary access code given to him presumably by Batman. The corridor was short before opening into a large area decorated like a play room: bright and full of toys. There were several monitors connected to multiple game consoles in the center. Next to it was a computer station with several units. He could see the kitchen a little ways away and more hallways on the other side if the play area. Setting his duffel down, he leaned his rollaway suitcase against the wall and looked about for a bit. He spotted the little blonde girl from his list sitting at a table playing with a doll. She was in a green costume with a mask that covered the upper part of her face. They even let them play dress up, this was going to be a piece of cake , he thought to himself. Until she looked over at him and screamed bloody murder.

"Stranger!" She hollered reaching for the green bow propped up against the table.

Then he heard the sound of something clicking followed by five red blurs assaulting his field of vision. Next thing he knew, he was literally stuck to the wall by arrows pinned through his civvies. He didn't even have time to grab his side arm.

"Don't move." How the hell was he gonna like this? The officer blinked realizing it was a young voice that was so demanding. A little boy in a yellow feathered cap, domino mask and red vest was about ten feet away, an arrow notched in his bow and leveled at the man. The same kid listed as the blonde's big brother. The clicking noise must have been his own collapsible bow unfolding."Who are you and how did you get in here?"

"Speedy, sweetheart. I've told you before to ask questions first, let them answer then shoot afterwards if they're bad people." A woman sighed. Turning his head as much as the shaft sticking out of his collar and the one a millimeter from his face would allow, he could see Black Canary walking toward him.

"...sorry Mommy." He looked down and muttered. "But he scared Artie!"

"That's not a valid excuse. It's Lt. Pross you should apologize to."

Another sorry was murmured and the child looked everywhere but at him. Clearly only humoring his mother as children tend to do when they don't see what they did wrong.

WTF? Who lets a kid actually run around with a collapsible bow and real frickin arrows? Just as disturbing: how'd he fire off so many so accurately in like ten seconds? They were in there deep too, the heads weren't visible at all. The heroine acted as if it were nothing serious to be yanking bits of rock and occasionally only half the projectile out of the stone wall.

"I apologize for this sir." The blonde helped Pross dislodge himself from the wall. "He's a bit over zealous when defending the cave. I'm Black Canary, this is my son Speedy. You're a little early, we just arrived ourselves. Artemis, come meet Lt. Pross."

"He's not a stranger?" The little girl had a bit of a lisp. It was explained whens he grinned at him as she bound up to them. One of her front teeth was missing. Not one of the center ones, it was one right next to them. "Hi my name is Artemis. Are you a police man? If you are you're not dressed right."

"No I'm Marine Lieutenant Maxwell Pross Artemis. Right now, I'm not on duty so I don't wear my uniform." Pross tried not to look wary of the 10 year old boy pointedly glaring at him. He wasn't going to let a half pint intimidate him no matter how much of a lucky shot he was.

Recognized Batman 01. Robin B01.

"But dad-dy!"

"Robin, you are not getting a dog. Maybe when you're older." The Dark Knight's tone was neutral, not belaying the irritation any parent would feel after constant pestering. A startling contrast of colors was following him with a pout. "You're early Pross. Robin, say hello to the lieutenant."

"Hmph!" The boy folded his green gloved hands across his chest. Boy those masks were good at showing scowls without showing their eyes. "Hi."

"He's upset about wanting a puppy. He might do his ninja impression so that he can sulk for a while until Kid Flash arrives I hope you read the manual we sent you, it lists his favorite hiding spots." Gotham's hero began. He paused and sighed. "You didn't, did you?"

"Well, to be honest I thought this was a gag for the most part until I got paid in advance. I didn't doubt you all were parents (LIE LIE LIE LIE LIE) I just wasn't sure of why so much was listed about each kid. How much trouble could they be?" Was his semi-honest and least likely to get him killed answer.

"You do at least know 3 of the kids aren't exactly human though?" Canary sounded hopeful. It quickly faded at his expression. "Batman we can't leave him with the kids unprepared."

"Canary I doubt they'll do any permanent damage to him on the first 's what the kevlar body suit in his room he could put on under his clothes is for."

"I'm worried about my babies! The others too! If he didn't know that, he has no idea Aqualad's allergic to peanuts. That Speedy won't let him near Artemis until he's sure the man's not a mole. That Zatanna's hiccups fire off random hexes. Or letting Robin nap with his utility belt is not an option for god sakes. Things that could get any one of them hurt!"

Hold it. They were about to leave him with 8 kids that could kill him and they weren't concerned about his welfare in the least. Either this really was a joke, it wasn't but the kids really weren't that bad, or they were worse and the woman's maternal instincts cancelled out caring about any danger he could possibly be in. He really hoped it wasn't the last one.

Recognized Icon 20. Rocket B09.

The large black man entered the cave. His sleeping daughter rested against his chest in one arm and a Hello Kitty backpack was in the other. Pross could see the light glint off of her belt.

"It is rather early for Rocket to be up and alert. I do believe I was fortunate to at least get her dressed before she dozed off again. She did not eat breakfast though. You must be the new summer caretaker, it is nice to meet you."

"Hello." This guy is huge! TV cameras lie in more ways than one, Rocket looked like a pixy compared to him. Icon looked at his co workers, Speedy's expression and the one Pross had.

"He did not review the manual did he? Just like Srgt. Melrose." He shook his head.

Melrose? He's that guy from Alpha 3 squad that recently got disability discharge. No one knew for sure what happened to mess him up so bad.

Uh-oh...

Recognized Martian Manhunter 07. Miss Martian B05. Zatanna B08. Kid Flash B03.

WHOOSH! Green and blue, black and white and red and yellow blurs exited the transporter.

"Whee!"

"I win!"

"Nuh-uh! I got her first!"

Two little girls (one of which was green) and a boy were arguing about who got to where Speedy was first. Immediately they demanded he declare a winner.

"It's a draw." Speedy shrugged. It wasn't the answer any of them wanted. The girls were easily distracted by Artemis holding up a doll and they followed her across the room. Well two did. Rocket continued snoring slightly and drooling in her father's chest oblivious to the commotion. Robin and Kid Flash ran over to the entertainment center, leaving the adults and a still glaring Speedy with the military man.

"Hello. Flash and Zatara are still overseas on assignment. M'gann appreciates the company despite their entrance." Manhunter greeted everyone. He picked up on the thoughts of the others and closed his red eyes in exasperation. Tilting his head back, he pinched the bridge of his barely there nose. "Again? Did they learn nothing from the spring break incident?"

Things were starting to fit together. Melrose vanished for a week in April only to come back in a full body cast. No special ops missions were scheduled during that time so his buddies went to check on him. The most anyone got out of him before the lawyers and doctors shooed his team away from his hospital bed was "those little devils!" before he slipped into incoherent French.

Recognized Superman 01. Superboy B04. Aquaman 06. Aqualad B03.

"Father, must I stay here? I would rather play with Garth and Tula" Aqualad looked up at the older blond man. He was holding a black backpack under his chin.

"They are visiting relatives in the North and Eastern waters Kaldur'um. I thought you enjoyed spending time with your surface world friends."

"Not in the summer. It is too hot on land."

"We can go to the beach. The cave has a pool too." Superboy said. It was eerie how much he looked like the man standing behind him. And even more so when both boys went silent then turned his way. The boy of steel frowned. "They sent another idiot."

"Kon-El..."

"It's not polite to say everything I'm thinking, I know Dad. But look at him. He hasn't got a clue!" He protested.

Suddenly, surviving multiple deployments in Iraq and classified stealth missions to several need to know locales seemed like not nearly enough experience and more like sheer dumb luck. Melrose had been a transplant from Aquitaine that got into the SEALs before getting selected for their special Ops Marine division for crying out loud! He'd only been with them for a week and nearly died.

He'd signed a contract for 3 whole months.

He really should have read the manual. His life probably depended on it.

End

Whatcha think? Let me know. I'd appreciate ideas for future chapters. No my other story isn't dead but this plot bunny wasn't gonna leave me be. Sirensoundwave out.


	2. Believe What You Read

Wow this is surprising. Thanks for all the reviews guys!

I know Wally's older than Artie guys, Pross wasn't exactly being thorough when he checked out his assignment. Remember, he thought this was a gag. Skimming is not the same as reading, as we'll see him truly regret here. I corrected the number of kids Pross is watching. There are actually 9 little devils. Thanks for all your support and super ideas!

I know nothing about the military; all my info comes from hasty google searches. I totally respect their service thought.

Plot and Lt. Pross mine. Nothing else sadly. No money made. T_T

Believe What You Read

Or

Cute but Psycho...Things DO NOT Even Out

"I hazard to guess that you at least know their names and ages." Batman stated. "Being that the first words in the file were appearances are deceiving, the best advice I can give you is to believe what you read. That way I'm sure you'll last longer than 4 days."

"Four? Melrose was here for seven or eight wasn't he?"

"Yeah and he took a nap for 3 of 'em." Speedy grinned wickedly.

"Speedy, the adults are talking. Go play with your friends." Canary said sternly. No room for argument.

"Yes'm." He wandered over to where the younger boys were setting up the Wii. Refolding his bow, the boy secured it to his back and grabbed a wheel to play Mario Kart.

Their new watcher eyed them all curiously. Each was in a costume. Nothing odd about that; school was out and they wanted to dress up like their parents got to. Well Superboy only had on a black tee with his father's logo and blue jeans. Upon closer inspection, he noted the weapons strapped to them were not toys. And that was just the items he could see. He'd bet his outrageous pay advance that turning any of them upside down and shaking vigorously would produce an arsenal. That train of thought lead to blurting out the following before he had a chance to think about it.

"Sir, if they're basically miniature versions of their parents, why is a caretaker needed? If you don't mind me asking." Way to go, Pross. Mental Maxwell face palmed. Stupid questions right off the bat.

"The only stupid questions are the ones we do not ask Lieutenant. While it is true most things a parent would worry about do not apply here, far more less conventional factors do. The children have the skill set but not the experience. You don't honestly believe a regular summer program could handle a little girl that floats when she sleeps do you?" Manhunter replied.

"Being the child of a hero is not as easy as you assume. It means they have the same or very similar abilities as we do. Special precautions have to be taken. While Kon-El does attend school during the year, it is only with the help of an inhibitor bracelet that he can interact without fear of exposure." Superman added. He left off the implied 'or grievous bodily injury to others or property'. "My wife is the only civilian that can deal with him."

"Speedy may seem normal by comparison but he is capable of breaking a grown man's bones acting on instinct alone. Artemis is tiny but can use a scissor maneuver to throw someone your size a fair distance." The blond woman looked more proud than anything else.

"Robin is no different." The Bat said in a short manner.

So there was a butt load of new info. Granted all of it was probably in that manual he skimmed...

Superman's married. The officer wondered how much of a personal life Leaguers actually had. He knew Green Arrow and Black Canary were husband and wife but that had to be easier than being married to a civilian. A fragile, helpless civilian you worried for constantly. It was part of the reason his relationships lasted a year at the longest since he got selected for Alpha 2 squad. He learned the world is a far scarier place than just the front lines. The worry made it hard to concentrate sometimes. So, how did a mere mortal woman handle a kryptonian throwing a tantrum?

"The woman you are thinking of is anything but helpless. While not apart of the League, Superboy's mother has earned a healthy dose of respect from ourselves and is classified as the same level threat as an axillary member by the villain community. Targeting her is as risky as targeting a SWAT team. I apologize but your thoughts are quite loud Lt Pross. Something you will want to watch until Blue Beetle is done with the neural inhibitor he is working on. M'gann is like a radio antenna, picking up even the weakest of signals." The martian man read his thoughts again.

"Yep, Lois Lane-Kent and helpless do not belong in the same sentence." Superman affirmed with a fond smile. Seeing the dawning of recognition, he rolled his eyes. "You don't know any of their civilian names do you? Just how far did you really read?"

"To about who their mentor was and skills."

"So, approximately an inch down on each page. I was under the impression that the military was more detail oriented. I understand you thought that this wasn't a real assignment so why would you sign on?" Icon's voice came from his left. The larger man was returning to the group after placing Rocket in the nap area.

"You saw zeros and nearly passed out. Figured we were throwing money at you to deal with an otherwise menial job because of our status. So, how does it feel to be wrong?" Batman smirked.

"Melrose was the same way you know. Watching 9 kids couldn't possibly be dangerous enough to warrant combat and hazard pay on top of so much health care coverage. Joked about it right up until Kaldur'um electrocuted the Sergeant. In my boy's defense, the man startled him, and triggered a natural defense mechanism mentioned in his file. I'm not sure he's actually able to remember the incident-wiped a few memories of his childhood as well if I'm not mistaken. That contract is legally binding by the way." Aquaman added that last bit as an after thought.

The heroes took some pity on him. He received a data pad with The Manual preloaded with digital cross reference. They were going to give him an hour and a half to review it as the children would normally be arriving around 9 am each day. After 32 minutes he concluded that he was officially in over his head. He spent the remaining 58 contemplating the merits of going AWOL.

All of the kids were adopted in some way or another. But, they shared some DNA with their adoptive parents. Huh? The reason for that was listed as CADMUS and Desmond beaten within an inch of his life. That's all that was written.

Robin, Richard, was not allowed to sleep with his utility belt because of nightmares. A picture of a door with 7 shuriken embedded in it was the only explanation. There was also instruction not to be alarmed if he saw him in the rafters...which where well over 30 feet high.

Sugar was like jet fuel to Kid Flash or rather Wally's metabolism. It really did run him up the walls. There was a schedule that said the boy needed to eat at least 8000 calories roughly ever 90 min. He's allergic to cats.

Roy, the one that nearly skewered him, was ultra protective of his baby sister. They had bad experiences with sitters in Star City with ulterior motives (ransom, revenge, leverage). His initial reaction to Pross was considered **mild**.

Kaldur could generate an electric jolt like an eel if he really tried but it usually manifested as a result of being afraid. The thing around his neck was actually a system designed to keep him cool as he had trouble regulating his body temperature; something he would grow out of. If he overheats, only water to drink for an hour. And you know, the peanut allergy.

Superboy or Kon-El or just plain Conner is scared of the dark. He is not to be left alone in an unlit area for any reason. He also has no problem voicing exactly what's on his mind, just like his mother. Unfortunately he lacks her tact; the ability to distinguish between what was appropriate to say and when.

Miss Martian was M'gann or Megan on Earth. She liked to cook but was only allowed to do so with her Easy Bake oven unsupervised. She could help with meal preparation but couldn't use her power while doing so. She lacked the focus to properly divide her attention between more than a task at a time. There was an addendum stating that Melrose was struck in the chest with an electric mixer when she began thinking about what color unicorns should be while making instant pudding.

Artemis seemed the most easy going. There were actually two dates listed but only one was her birthdate. The first was the date her biological mother, Huntress (wait, WHAT?) officially retired from the villain racket nine months prior. The way it worked out, Artemis was barely older than Robin. Why was that date important? The only warning listed for her was do not make her cry. The 'Speedy will hurt you' part was missing from this version. Still, he had a deep sense of foreboding...

Zatanna did in fact have problems with hiccups. They were destructive bursts of magical energy. The only way to deal with them was to slap an inhibitor bracelet on her arm until they stopped and remove it immediately afterwards. It was noted that the program was intended for them to get used to regulating their own abilities there fore the inhibitors were a last resort.

Rocket or Raquel liked to fly but was to be encouraged to walk more often. She'd broken her leg last winter and gotten used to levitating in order to get around easier. She liked to use big words like her father and wrote better stories than many high schoolers. Small notes; she cannot swim and... she bites. That is not a small note people.

There were general guidelines for every one.

1. Children will be dropped off at 9:00 am and picked up at 5:00pm daily unless otherwise notified. League business may call for earlier drop offs or extended stays. Overnight supervision would also be necessary upon short notice.

2. No liquids after 7:30pm. No exceptions. Kaldur may sleep in the pool if he is dehydrated.

3. WWE is banned and how Raquel broke her leg.

4. Gak, Floam, Silly Putty, Slime and gum are banned indoors. o.O

5. One child out of your sight for a short time may be fine. If two or more are missing, you have a problem.

Oh boy.

*break*

By 10am, the elder heroes were gone and Wally had already eaten two of his special high calorie bars. The kids were all doing various things while he perused the surveillance system controls. He got the hang of it fairly quickly and was delighted to learn that the kids all had tracers in their uniforms. His data pad could sync to the computer and allow him to control the cave or track the tots remotely.

BAM!

Pross looked up from the console to see Artemis sprawled on the ground near the kitchen. They had all be running around when she hit the side of the counter full force. She sat up and noticed she had a small bleeding cut on her shin. Her bottom lip quivered as blood dripped down her leg. The other kids froze, and began to sweat. Several inched backwards.

"Run Away!" Superboy yelled. Several blurs ran past him just as he crossed the gap and knelt beside her. That was mean. He ignored them, telling Artemis she was going to be okay and opening the first aid kit. A shadow was cast over him and he realized there were only six tufts of hair peaking over the sofa.

Kid Flash and Speedy had stayed put on either side of her.

Erk!

The same man who'd once held on to the side of a speeding train after jumping from a chopper was still concerned...yeah, concerned...about the angry red head with the bow and arrows being so close to him. Canary had helpfully pointed out that Roy did not like strangers near Artemis.

Was he still a stranger?

Feeling brave, he looked at the boy standing over him. The scowl was gone, replaced by a smile. An eerie, malicious smile. He raised the hand not holding his sister's shoulder and wiggled his fingers at him as if to say 'bye-bye'.

"WHAAAAAAA!" The tiny blonde wailed. The sound was normal for all of 2 seconds before it morphed into an ear splitting screech that sent him tumbling end over end away from them. The His chest smashed into the opposite side of the kitchen enclave. He found himself face down on the tile with his back bent the wrong way and his legs dangling over his head. The noise stopped suddenly replaced by sobs. He angled his head to see what happened.

"There you go." Speedy said putting a green band-aid on the cut. The young man was wearing ear plugs so he could clean and dress her leg. Beside him was Wally holding her hand with plugs in his ears too. When he was done, they took them out. "All better."

"Thanks you guys." she sniffled. She stood up and hugged them.

"Power Rangers is on!" Raquel hollered from the den. Artemis and Wally dashed off cheering, hand in hand. Cut forgotten, leaving Pross alone with the ginger demon. Before he could sit up properly, a tiny foot was pressed into his back with incredible force.

"Ow! Kid get off, not funny." He grunted.

"It is to funny!" Roy bent down to whisper into the trapped man's ear. "I don't like you. You're just another sap the military sent to spy on us, we know all about your team. Rob hacked yer division. We took care of the last guy and we'll take care of you too. You only here for us to 'play' with til we get bored."

"You are going to be in so much trouble when-"

"When what? Mom and Dad get back? Who are they gonna believe? Their lil prince and princess, or a government dope?"

This.

Wasn't.

Happening.

It had to be a dream.

He'd made Taliban rebels wet themselves. Blown labs conducting horrifying experiments to kingdom come. How could he be trapped under the steel toed boot of someone who's huevos had yet to drop and sweating bullets? He'd pinch himself if it weren't for the sharp grinding pain in the in his lower vertebrae.

Heaven help him.

*End*

BWHAHAHA! Not so innocent are they now? Who will save our unfortunate soldier? Is it just Roy or are they all in on it? What did happen to Srgt. Melrose? The next update will conincided with the next update to Parallels. Fight scenes are hard :-(

I've been noticing the DocX thingie is eating parts of my files. It makes it look like I forgot words and whole sentences! Admin needs to investigate that.

Sirensoundwave out!


	3. Read the Label

Parallels is not dead!

Okay, I know I promised to update my other YJ story but this plot bunny has fully manifested into a real fic. The possibilities are endless! Keep those wonderful ideas a comin'! I have so many in my head but more are always welcome. For example: If Heroes have kids, don't villains? There are plenty DC characters that would be the same age as my wee!YJ crew on both sides of the tracks. Maybe they could have a play date... who do you wanna see?

Lt. Pross: You're joking right?

Siren: (Rubs hands and cackles as Lt. Pross sweats.)

Lt. Pross: PLEASE be joking.

Siren: Maybe. Maybe not. (cackles louder)

Lt. Pross: AHHHHH! Save me!

I know nothing about the military; all my info comes from hasty google searches. I totally respect their service thought.

Plot and Lt. Pross mine. Nothing else sadly. No money made. T_T

Read the Label

Or

And Then There Were 10...Are You SERIOUS?

Lunch time rolled around without another...incident. Everyone was either watching Transformers or on a computer. Aside from the on screen explosions, not a sound was made. No yelling, not shoving. They say glued to the devices. This wasn't normal child behavior. And it was Megan that first said something about being hungry after tapping him while he sat half reading a book, half looking up every few moments.

True to her file, Megan had been very helpful in the kitchen. She knew exactly where everything was and suggested hot dogs and popcorn for lunch. She also reminded him that Wally usually ate 7 but they had played tag earlier so he should make 14 just for him.

The pantry was...an eye opener. He'd watched the Martian girl go in but she didn't immediately pop back out with the box of popcorn or some buns. Once the gallon sized pot was boiling, she still hadn't come out. Maybe she was just distracted. Her uncle said it happened a lot.

"Alright Meg-" He walked around the door and paused mid-sentence.

Blink.

The marine hadn't counted on stepping into a small grocery store, not from the outer dimensions of the closet. Just a standard door beside the fridge. There were shelve further than he could see and the distinct cool wisps of visible air that seeped from a freezer some where off to the right but out of sight. Suddenly a red and green box was being waved in front of his face.

"I wanted to get the caramel kind, Conner really likes it. Mr. Red Tornado forgots it last time and I thought he forgots again but look it!" She held up the box of microwaveable caramel coated popcorn like a trophy. Blech. What was it with kids and putting sugar on anything they could think of?

"Alright let's get to it then."

After Speedy enlightened him as to what the tykes really thought of him, he'd been more on guard than before. None of the others had been openly hostile (though he wasn't exactly comfortable with the glare Robin gave him when he was told to turn off the computer come eat lunch) but he wasn't going to relax just yet. The kid could have been messing with him. Or he could have been serious as a heart attack.

They flooded in and ate talking animatedly but otherwise everything was cool.

"Alright guys, time to clean up. Everyone dump your trash in the trash can and put the plates in the sink." He instructed when they were done.

"Okay!"

No arguement? Nope. All nine cleared their plates without a fuss. Of course it was too good to be true but not in the way he expected. Eight returned to their activities, but one tugged on his pants while he washed dishes.

"Lt. Pross, I am quite itchy." Kaldur's proper diction stated but it sounded like the boy had something in his mouth. When he looked down, he was beyond alarmed.

The child's eyes were bloodshot red and his skin was covered in blotchy hives. That wasn't the worst part. His cheeks and tongue were swollen to twice their normal size-he look like a disease chipmunk! He was scratching like not tomorrow and struggling to breathe. Why was he so frickin' calm about it?

"Holy shit!" He snatched the epi-pen from the lanyard on the fridge with a note above it that said 'If Kaldur gets puffy'. Uncapping it, he stabbed the tube into the kid's thigh in a panic. Anaphalaxis didn't take long to suffocate someone, so he just acted on autopilot. Too bad auto pilot didn't take into account the teensy detail that-

BZZZZZT!

-he should have warned the boy that packed a 50,000 volt startle reflex before ramming a sharp object into his leg like a mad man. He saw stars then nothing but white for a few seconds before he was looking up at the cave ceiling and unable to control the spasming in his extremities.

"I apologize, father always tells me to count to three first. Thank you though." Kal still sounded bad but the syringe the caretaker's hand had a death grip on was empty thank god. "Are you alright? I remembered it was only you faster than with Srgt Melrose."

"F-Fine." Pross managed to get out between chattering teeth. Standing up he shook his head trying to clear the tingle from his brain. For the second time in one day, he'd almost been killed by a child. Artemis blasting his eardrums didn't quite count as slamming into a counter wasn't lethal despite the contorted position he ended up in. Just painful.

Apparently, the popcorn contained peanut pieces. They were tiny so the caramel and popcorn itself covered up the taste and no body noticed. This whole episode could have been avoided if he'd read the stupid label.

Allergy Warning, Contains Peanuts.

Sonnova-

[Recognized Blue Beetle (imagine a designation). Booster Gold (Ditto). Little Blue (ditto).]

The transporter activated and two costumed men walked. The one in black and gold was holding the hand of a very small boy dressed in a plain yellow tank top, blue shorts and black sneakers. The guy dressed in blue was fiddling with that looked like an over-sized version of one of those handy hangers things. Only this one was sleek like something from Star Trek.

"Uncle Blue!"

"Uncle Gold!"

"Sup kids. Where's your new sitter?" Booster asked the little ones crowded around him.

"Right here. Lt. Pross, Mr. Booster Gold sir." Maxwell was still a bit wobbly as he walked up to them and firmly shook his hand.

"Not old enough for you to call me sir. You guys go play till we're done." The blond laughed. The small boy with them leaped onto Conner's back and the gang ran off.

" What's that?" Blue Beetle shouted pointing behind him and the serviceman whipped around, afraid one of his charges was in trouble.

Pssst!

Something pressed into the base of his skull then penetrated the skin like a hot needle.

"Gah! What the hell man?" He clasped his hand over the area and glared at the bug themed hero.

"Neural inhibitor. Protects you from Miss Martian's abilities. She's got a rather low ability to affect brain waves but strong enough to read minds and cause hallucinations. These will be useful as well. I hope you are wearing the under armour Batman designed." Blue Beetle handed him a pair of arm bands as if he hadn't heard the complaint. He went back to messing with the device. Was the subterfuge necessary?

"They'll level the playing field a little. They work a lot like Rocket's belt. Well the defensive abilities: levitation and a force field you can project around yourself or use to immobilze something moving. Put 'em on and they sync to the chip in your head, don't worry Robin can't get past the firewall on it. We realize the guy before you was kind of a sittin' duck so..." Booster grinned before slinging his partner over his shoulder and hauling ass to the transporter.

"Whagh! Booster put me down this instant! You forgot Jaime!"

"No I didn't! Later little man! Be good!"

"Si, Padre!" The Hispanic child chirped and waved. Wasn't he across the room a second ago?

Wait, huh?

[Recognized Blue Beetle (imagine a designation). Booster Gold (Ditto).]

He stood confused as hell still rubbing his neck and holding the new devices. They just left him here!

Well, Beetle didn't look like he knew Booster was gonna sprint into the zeta beam with him in a fireman carry. His bewildered expression and shouting about the kid proved that. He looked down at the little boy and big brown eyes looked up at him expectantly. After a moment, he held up his blue and black backpack and beamed.

"¡Es noche especial del Padre con Papá, así que llegar a pasar la noche! Soy Jaime, ¿cuál es tu nombre?"

Pross understood the word dad twice, night, name and maybe that the kid's name was 'high-me'. His Spanish was kind of rusty. Didn't need it where he'd been deployed.

That didn't mean...nah, he's just showing off.

"Okay, that's pretty impressive Spanish kid. Now, what's your name? And why'd your big brothers leave you like that?"

"Hermanos mayores? Yo no tengo ningún hermano, señor." The small boy tilted his head in confusion.

"He doesn't understand Jaime." Zatanna shook her head at him then turned to Pross, pointing at the new arrival. "This is Jaime, he's two an a half. He has two daddies, not brothers. He can only say stuff in Spanish, but he hears English okay."

Weird but considering where he was, whatever.

"So what did he say?"

"It's their special night tonight. Jaime's gonna stay with us too!" Megan cheered and did a happy dance with Conner. Rather, she grabbed him and swung his arms around as she jumped about. When they settled, a light blush spread across the boy's face.

"As in_ over_night?"

New facts: Blue Beetle and Booster Gold were a couple. They also had a son, a toddler that only speaks Spanish. He couldn't he couldn't understand a word out of the kid's mouth, but an 8 year old Italian girl and a girl from Mars, could. Actually, all the rugrats seemed to be able to understand him. Well, this might not be so bad. Wonder if he's in the file too...

Hold on, what was that peaking out of the back of his top?

There was something blue, round and shiny under the yellow fabric. He only saw it as Jaime bent down to scratch his leg. It was rather large and bulging outward. Curiosity got the better of him; before he really thought about it, he leaned over and pulled the collar away from his back. In hindsight, a stupid idea. One of many today.

"Wait!" Kaldur panicked. Too late. Spooked, the Hispanic child went rigid at the touch. The other children pressed themselves to the floor and covered their heads.

Not.

Good.

At.

ALL.

[Threat detected!] A mechanical voice cried.

A whir, click, and whoom later, his chest was on fire and he was sailing away from the boy. He didn't even have time to put on the arm bands, pity.

"potS!" The little magician called and Pross' impromptu flight stopped. He floated a few inches from the main computer's huge screen and looked down. His t-shirt had a bowling ball sized hole with singed edges. Smoke was pouring off of the black body suit underneath. Thank god the did put it on after all. He must have been too heavy for Z because she grunted then he landed on his butt a second later.

"¡Lo siento! Me has asustado, y el señor escarabajo se despertó!"Jaime called sheepishly. The kid's whole left arm was plated in blue and black armor forming the shape of a cannon. The glow of the muzzle faded and the metal retreated to his back area. "¿Estás bien?"

"He's unharmed Jaime! You woke up the scarab on his back, it's very agressive." Rocket hovered above, reaching down to help him up. Still in shock, he allowed her to pull him to his feet when she grabbed his hand.

Agressive she says! He'd be see through right now if not for Batman's parting gift! That's the third time!

"Why does he have a built in ray gun?"

"It's a plasma cannon." Kid Flash rolled his eyes. "The scarab on his back is sentient techno-organic battle suit. Lab accident, now it's stuck to his spine. His hero name is Lil Blue."

"Uncle Blue yelled at Uncle Gold for a real long time." Superboy scratched his head. "He was 'pposed to be watching Jaime I think. It's mean and zaps people when he's mad and when they scare him."

"Fue muy fuerte."

"Just like Miss Iris did at Uncle Flash. He hid at our house cuz she was so yelly." Robin nodded.

...!

What is wrong with these people! Why hasn't social services shown up! (Stupid formatting wont let me use two punctuation marks. These are yelled questions)

This was the second kid that got his super powers from lab accident that happened on his guardian's watch and he wasn't even old enough for kindergarten. Two of them were armed to the teeth with weapons including but not limited to a stun gun, shuriken, arrows and a grappling hook; Artemis had a switchblade in the toe of her boot (He found that crap out as they were 'play fighting' while their parents watched that morning; not in the least concerned about them maiming each other. They were pointing out the places to strike at and how to defend for god sakes!). Two were aliens with powers and a third was a half alien due to a kidnapping by Cadmus with a bizzaro belt. One was a witch with lethal hiccups and the last one was a walking generator from the sea.

This was insane!

"It's only 1:30, ready to quit yet?" Speedy asked, that creepy grin returning.

Oh yeah, social services wouldn't stand a chance against the kids much less their folks. That's why.

*End*

Poor Max. Read that file dammit! The whole thing.

Here's what Jaime said (I don't know how little Spanish kids talk but google translate rocks!):

"Si, Padre!"

**Yes dad!**

"¡Es noche especial del Padre con Papá, así que llegar a pasar la noche! Soy Jaime, ¿cuál es tu nombre?"

**Tonight is Dad's special night with Daddy, so I get to sleepover!**

"Hermanos mayores? Yo no tengo ningún hermano, señor."

**Big brothers? I don't have any brothers sir.**

"¡Lo siento! Me has asustado, y el señor escarabajo se despertó!"

**Sorry! You scared me and woke up Mr. Scarab!**

"¿Estás bien?"

**You okay?**

"Fue muy fuerte."

**It was really loud.**

Stay tuned. Sirensoundwave out.


	4. Read Between the Lines

**This is doing so well. Hugs to all!**

**It has been brought to my attention that the names are getting a bit confusing-I know I tend to switch between civilian and hero names a lot. So, here is a quick recap of the current cast.**

Lt. Maxwell Pross  
He's a marine who is part of a special operations division of the military. It has many different service branch members selected for their individual skill. The division itself is called Alpha. Because of his background, he was chosen by his commanding officers to act as a caretaker for the children of the League for the summer. The kids are torturing him but not always on purpose.

At some point, all the kids were kidnapped by Cadmus and experimented on. The tests gave them DNA from their parents/guardians that has created all sorts of bizzare situations. On the plus side, genetic testing now proves the ones they call their parents to biologically be so regardless of how their family formed.

Robin/Dick/Richard  
wee!Robin is very much like his older self. He has all his weapons and skills but lacks the experience to deal with his nightmares yet (and he's not allowed to fall asleep wearing his utility belt because of it). He calls Batman daddy and Kid Flash is his best friend.

Kid Flash/Wally  
wee!Kid Flash is far more hyper than his teen-aged self. It hasn't been shown yet but he has less control over his powers (often runs into walls and has trouble turning). Like Flash, his powers aren't from a metagene but a lab accident; that Iris nearly killed Barry because of. He has a crush on Artemis. In this universe, Flash is his adopted father.

Speedy/Roy (Red Arrow)  
wee!Speedy is the oldest and so far the most hostile towards the Lt. Part of it is due to the number of previous sitters he's had in Star City that turned out to be enemies or just nuts. Part of it is he enjoys tormenting the man (Pross' mental nickname for Speedy is ginger devil even though he has no freckles). Like Robin, he has his full skill set. He calls Green Arrow Dad and Black Canary mom; but mommy when he is talking to her.

Aqualad/Kaldur'um/Kaldur  
wee!Aqualad is the second oldest and speaks with far better diction than his peers just like his older self. He has a severe peanut allergy and has not yet learned to control his electrical attacks (they usually manifest as a startle response). Aquaman has adopted him as his son and is addressed as Father.

Miss Martian/M'gann/Megan  
wee!Miss Martian is just as peppy as her older self but she has a tougher time staying focused on things. When her mind wanders, so do her powers (at great hazard to those around her :P). She likes to cook and seems to have a crush on Superboy. Martian Manhunter is still her uncle but for legal purposes he is her guardian as well.

Superboy/Kon-El/Conner  
wee!Superboy got a better deal than his YJ counterpart. Not only does Superman want him as a child, but he has Lois Lane for a mom. It has also been said that Lois is not the damsel in distress the comics play her up to be (Manhunter makes it clear that she is considered dangerous even by villains). Like his mother he often says exactly what he's thinking but isn't old enough to know when not to. He calls Supes dad.

Artemis  
wee!Artemis is Speedy's little sister whom he is fiercely protective of. Her file originally states 'don't make her cry, Speedy will hurt you' but the digital version simply says 'don't make her cry'. This amendment is explained when she Canary Cries Lt Pross across the kitchen after scrapping her leg. She likes Kid Flash but you will see them argue a lot. Green Arrow and Canary are daddy and mommy to her but her file mentions Huntress as her birth mother.

Zatanna  
wee!Zatanna has killer hiccups that fire of bursts of magical energy and the only way to stop them is to use and inhibitor bracelet and wait till they stop. She seems to be good at explaining things to the Lt. She is staying with Kid Flash and Megan's uncle while Zatara and Flash are out of the country on assignment.

Rocket/Raquel  
wee!Rocket has Icon for a dad. She likes to write and show off her large vocabulary; often she will use words more advanced kids would but her grammar isn't as meticulous as Kaldur's. She broke her leg several months prior and as a result has gotten used to flying but is to be encouraged to walk more often. Due to the Cadmus incident, she has some of Icon's alien DNA.

Lil Blue/Jaime (Blue Beetle)  
wee!Jaime has two fathers, Booster Gold and Blue Beetle (Ted Kord). The scarab isn't making him crazy though. It does nearly vaporize Pross when he scares Jaime. The accident that caused it to fuse with his spine happened when Booster was supposed to be watching him. Odd side effects: he hears and reads English just fine but can only speak in Spanish (the only person this seems to be an issue for is Lt. Pross) and another one from this chapter.

I know nothing about the military; all my info comes from hasty google searches. I totally respect their service thought.

Plot and Lt. Pross mine. Nothing else sadly. No money made. T_T

_Er...I think I may have traumatized some people with the update last night. Sorry! I my defense I DID change the rating beforehand...just forgot to give a teensy warning. There will be a little bit of Booster/Beetle in this chapter. Nothing any worse than what is considered PG-13 if one character is girl though. If it bothers you, the datapad video scene. Or pretend Blue Beetle is a woman._

Let the lunacy continue!

Read Between the Lines  
Or  
Syne- what? Oh dear god...

After that fiasco, Pross quickly put on the armbands. Been nearly roasted by a toddler was not fun. Speaking of whom, he found himself even more baffled by Jaime when he sat down by himself with a pencil and some paper. The boy liked numbers, a lot. He spent a lot of his time writing math problems and giggling. He didn't understand why at first and became even more confused when he saw that the problems he was doing were trig level. The kid was two!

When nap time came, he wisely took the opportunity to check the datapad and found the file on the kid with the killer metal bug on his back. It said that the scarab on his back was an AI and armour with impressive defensive and offenive capabilities (no shit) and warned not to agitate it (duly noted). It was invented by Blue Beetle and became attached due to a momentary lapse in attention on Booster Gold's part when the boy was playing in the laboratory. As a result he has somewhat scrambled neuropathways resulting in his inability to speak in anything but Spanish. He cannot understand it when it is spoken or printed though; only English. He also has a few forms ofsynesthesia not caused but amplified by this condition.

"What's synesthesia?" He thought aloud. The kids were all snoring away on their mats in the rec room. Or so he thought.

"The production of a sense impression relating to one sense or part of the body by stimulation of another sense or part of the body." Rocket answered. The looked over to see her spiky locks moving behind the sofa before she came around the side holding a coloring book and some crayons. With a flicker of lavender, she levitated up and plopped down next to him.

"You're supposed to be taking a nap." The lieutenant sighed. "How do you know that?"

"I read a lot and I'm not sleepy. I want to color." She opened the book to a scene where Hello Kitty and Keroppi were playing in the snow.

"Do you know what those words actually mean Rocket or are you just repeating the definition?" He smiled as she made the Japanese feline's parka pink.

"It's what Jaime has. We see regular graphemes or numbers and letters. He sees colors and it makes math super easy for him. He can't read very well now so how it works when he spells things is as yet undetermined." She didn't even look up from her picture. "He likes how numbers change colors when he rearranges them or makes new numbers with them cause it's like magic. That's why he was doing those problems."

"Makes as much sense as anything else today." He shrugged. No, no it doesn't. How does that work?

Unfortunately for him he was about to get an eyeful of exactly how it worked.

Just not the kind the little tot had.

The data pad pinged and a video began to play. Hadn't pushed anything and couldn't get it to stop.

[Booster I'm mad at you!] The voice of Blue Beetle spoke. The video was of a laboratory out of a sci-fi flick. He wasn't wearing a costume but a lab coat. The man sat hunched over a table doing something that required goggles so he still couldn't see his face.

[Awe babe you can't be that upset.] Booster chuckled coming up behind him. He wrapped his arms around the smaller man and a devious smirk formed on the gold and black clad hero's lips. He dangled a whistle in front of him. [Oh no you don't.]

Blue swatted it away and it landed across the desk. Undeterred, the blond man did something with his wrist and the sound of a whistle filled the room. The sound was odd though, much higher than the gym whistle sitting on the desk. The pitch bordered on just out of the range of human hearing. If Pross thought that was strange, what came next caused his brain to die.

[Nngh...] Blue groaned. Not an 'ow!' groan. It was an 'ah...' groan. A faint blush spread across his face. Booster did it again. [Nnghh...not fair...I'm still mad.]

[But how long can you _stay_ mad like this?] Booster purred, sliding the white garment off of the flustered scientist revealing the blue dress shirt underneath. As Blue squirmed, his lover trailed kisses along his jawline. The wrist motion was repeated and the sound came back a third time.

[Ahhhh! Michael stop! Jaime will hear it too!] By now Blue was bright red, pant and clutching the edge of the table for dear life.

[So? Doesn't affect him like it does you beautiful...]

WHAT THE HELL?

Pross tossed the pad like it was a pit viper and scooted away as if his ass was on fire. He stared wide eyed at where it landed as if the device would spring to life and assault his vision again. That was the last thing he expected to see on the otherwise helpful pad.

Who gets off on a sound like that? More importantly, why the hell was it playing on the datapad? That was the weirdest thing he'd ever seen.

"You're squishing me!" A muffled voice squealed.

In his shock, he totally forgot about Rocket beside him. The girl was now crushed between his back and the arm of the couch. Oh, but not for long. Faster than he could turn his head, the lieutenant found himself propelled forward and flipping over the table. His face bashed into the uncarpeted floor with enough force to stun him briefly.

To Icon's daughter, the solution to being sandwiched in was simple; switch on her force field and let it turn Newton's third law (and Pross) on it's head. So far she was keeping true to the pattern; the boys nearly kill him, the girls just maim him.

"What is wrong with you?" She hollered.

His response was cut off by snickering that quickly devolved into full blown laughter Someone, two someones were yucking it up right behind her. Robin and Speedy, of course. The lil' Ginger Demon got Robin to hack into the device and show him that...whatever it was. Evil, evil brats!

WHACK! A pillow hit the two boys in the face.

"Ow! Jeez Rocket the doofus that almost suffocated you is on the floor!" Speedy huffed.

"Because of you two imbeciles!" She grumbled in response.

Turns out no nobody was actually asleep anymore. They were rolling up their mats and going back to playing. Well, Jaime was looking around confused. He said something to Superboy who shrugged and walked over to the group by the couch.

"Jaime said heard that special noise his Dad makes with his glove. I heard it too but Uncle Gold's not here." Superboy translated.

The high pitched whistle sounded a fourth time and Pross dove for the datapad which had thankfully landed screen down. This was a nightmare. How the hell was he going to explain this to a bunch of kids? Where's the friggin off switch? Unsure what else to do, he hurriedly removed the back panel and battery.

"Mi barriga!" Jaime fell over laughing and holding his sides as if someone was ticking him.

"Uncle Gold's glove makes a sound that tickles Jaime's tummy." Robin chirped. "But it makes Uncle Blue's face turn pink. It's weird but funny! It's called sin-ni sin um..."

"Synethesia. Uncle Blue and Gold both have it and so does Lil Blue. It's different for all of them." Rocket said before bouncing to her feet. "Who wants to play hide and seek?"

"Me!" Everyone, even the kids on the other side of the room cheered.

"You're it Pross! Hide!" Speedy called and all of them scattered leaving the man alone on the floor. The last general guide line flashed in his mind like an alarm bell.

/5. One child out of your sight for a short time may be fine. If two or more are missing, you have a problem./

Shit.

*End*

Jaime hollered "My tummy!"

I swear to god this is an actual condition. There are more that 65 known versions of synesthesia and some people have more than one type. It doesn't affect two people in quite the same way either. I came up for this short piece after reading a fic called Synesthesia on An Archive of Our Own by Leticheecopae. Which I do not recommend reading if guys doing more than kissing squicks you out.

The next chapter will be a while from now, working title:

Read the Ninja List  
Or  
Hide and Go (BLEEP) Yourself Lieutenant Pross

Sirensoundwave out!


	5. Read the Ninja List

**Hey all! This chapter's a bit short but never fear, it's only the first part. Remember, there are 10 superpowered kids running around now. I have ideas for future chappies that incorporate several bad guys and/or their kids; the obligatory trip to Wal-Mart (beware Wal-Mart shoppers); a park incident with an adorable puppy (per request); and the kids shaking down the ice cream man. Supergirl, Batgirl and Stargirl will show up sometime soon but not the way you think. The League decides Pross could do with some...assistance after his first day. From 3 teenaged girls who'd rather be ANYWHERE else on summer break. They contribute very little help but much ****_chaos_**** (hint hint). Yes, I am totally screwing with ages. On with the insanity!**

Chapter 5

Read the Ninja List  
or  
Hide and Go (BLEEP) Yourself Lt. Pross Part I

****

Pross just sat there. The kids had all sped to who knows where for a game of hide and seek initiated by the Antichri- I mean Speedy.

Joy.

First things first, consult the manual. He'd been almost killed too many times not to. Replacing the battery and back panel, he searched for what else? Hide and seek. What came up was...unexpected but really shouldn't have been. Ya know, given the situation.

The Ninja List

While each child is very different, they are easily categorized by their skills when playing this and other games.

Easiest to Find: Lil' Blue (he's 2 1/2), Miss Martian (easily bored by hiding and may wander out on her own)  
Easiest to Catch-Speed-wise: Artemis (the slowest runner)  
Easiest to Catch-With Lure: Kid Flash (use candy at own risk)  
Easiest to Catch-After Extended Play: Aqualad (easily overheated or dehydrated)  
Hardest to Find: Robin (stealth master); Speedy (same)  
Hardest to Catch: Kid Flash (speed wise), Zatanna (can teleport), Superboy (can leap more than 20 ft at a time)  
Hardest to Reach: Rocket (can fly), Miss Martian (same), Robin (acrobat and quite comfortable in high places)  
Most likely to Maim You if Startled: All  
Most Likely to Kill You if Startled: Speedy, Lil Blue, Aqualad, Rocket, Superboy (NOT A JOKE)  
Most Likely to Booby Trap the Cave: Speedy, Robin BEWARE

Do use the equipment given to you for your protection. Good Luck.

You will need it.

Once again, Maxwell found himself bewildered by the sheer insanity of his situation. He was about to go looking for 10 children that were all very capable of hospitalizing him by accident. Nevermind the fact that at least one was very actively trying to do just that. What the hell?!

Checking to make sure the armbands were active, he was about to set off when he realized something. They all have trackers in their uniforms, brilliant. At least he'd have some idea of who was around the corner and thus a better chance of surviving the encounter. Oh you naive fool.

Here we go.

After about an hour, he hadn't caught anyone. Oh he'd found a few of them, and they all got away before he could touch them. The game requires that you actually tag someone before they are, 'out'. He'd had some interesting encounters though.

Kid Flash was actually snacking on one of his high calorie bars in the kitchen, not even hiding. He saw Pross, waited until the man was a foot away then zoomed off like the freaking roadrunner. Specifically he had left an after image of himself the serviceman's hand went right through (thought that crap was only possible in Dragon Ball Z and other assorted anime...). Of course it wasn't going to be that easy.

Zatanna was hiding in a storage closet in the main hallway. He only found her because of the tracker, to hell with not 'cheating'. The instant he opened the door, she had cried out 'Tropelet!' and vanished in a blue puff of smoke and sparkles. Bested again by a child with freakish powers. If the tracker was anything to go on, she'd ended up back in the playroom. The next closest was the little green girl. She was actually...right behind him?

Miss M had camouflaged herself, blending into the friggin wall and simply walked past him as he tried to tag Zatanna. If not for his little helper, Pross would have never noticed until he heard her retreating giggles. Next thing he knew, he was on his ass having been knocked down. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a flash of purple light as Rocket flew by like a firefly from hell.

The first one he caught, surprisingly, was Superboy. But of course, it was no walk in the park. The Boy of Steel was distracted by something shiny glinting on the ceiling. In the weight room, out in the open. That should have been a clue.

"Gotcha Superboy, you're out." Pross wasn't stupid. He made as much noise as he could walking up to him and then told him he was out well before he even touched the boy.

"Aw, I'm out." he pouted in defeat. Then he stomped his foot, creating a small crack in the floor. "No fair Speedy!"

"Speedy?"

"Yes? (snicker) You called?" The ginger devil poke his head around the door frame with that creepy smile no child should have. He waved a small mirror as he came into full view. Second clue. The third was the fingerless gloved hand flat against the wall...inches from the light switch.

"You wouldn't da-" He glared at the red head. The grin got wider.

"Click!" Speedy simply made the sound of a switch flicking as he turned it off.

The little bastard.

First of all, the half Kryptonian shrieked like a banshee. Second, he whipped his arms out like battering rams. Third, he ran around screaming more in the dark. So, naturally, he failed to notice the brand spankin' new spherical hole in the wall Pross had been standing beside until the lights came back on.

"Oops." Superboy skidded to a stop.

OOPS?!

Here's a fun fact: Energy must be transferred or dispersed but cannot be destroyed. That being said, the armbands Blue Beetle gave him did create a shield at the last second but did nothing to stop him from being blown through the goddamned wall. He nearly got whiplash from the sudden propulsion. He lay dazed for a bit when the white energy field dropped. His senses returned and he noticed he was a good five feet deep into solid rock. Apparently, the force didn't blast rock outward, it melted it creating a relatively smooth tunnel he observed. Well after the lights came back on.

"He-! You-! I could have died!" He sputtered at the cackling child. Said child was rolling on the ground clutching his sides.

"Nah. Uncle Blue's toys always work like they're supposed to. I'm just trying to make you wish you were dead." He got up, dusting himself off as the caretaker crawled out of the hole and lunged at him. "One down, 9 more to go!" With that he leapt straight up, landed on the man's back and hauled ass down the hall.

"Um, I'm sorry." Superboy stared at the ground. "Don't tell anybody I screamed like a girl. You don't have to find Megan, she wants to play Uno so...bye!"

Pross just lay there, face down on the tile. With yet another boot print on his back. Him and his unit spent so much time pitying Melrose for whatever FUBAR mission landed him in ICU. They should have given the man a Bronze Star. Living through these hellion for a week (despite the 3 day coma) was being just too stupid to give up once he dug himself into a hole. Which is often mistaken for bravery. Either way, he earned it.

*stop*

Teehee! Poor man, read contracts before you sign them, the dollar signs are just a distraction. Stay tuned and check out my other YJ story Parallels. I'll be letting little things from that fic bleed into this one (like Kaldur's peanut allergy). Who knows, Syl and Gabe might show up as chibis too...Reviews and suggestions always welcome. Sirensoundwave out.


	6. Read the Ninja List Part 2

I lIve!

Sorry about the wait. Life and well... anyhoo. This chapter will be the last in this particular continuity, effectively making it a six shot. But the story won't end! Everything that follows will be self contained oneshots with the occassional mini series of stories but everything will be vaguely connected. The chapters to come will includes (ahem):

Pross gets help, sorta: Stargirl (who won't put down her phone); Supergirl (who's pissed Superman tricked her into it) and Batgirl (who's been promised a new Mercedes by her uncle B)...three teenaged girls, none of whom are all that concerned for the Lieutenant's safety, or sanity.

A Family Day: Think about it, REALLY think about it...then pray for Pross

A wee!Klarion and versions of my OCs; a wee!Gabriel, wee!Sylphine and Lady Aurii, their mother: A playdate at the park goes horribly wrong but not exactly how you'd think

Meeting Wally's other playmates and their whacked out 'family'

wee!Static, wee!Gear and several wee!Bang Babies make an appearance

wee!Kyle Rainer and his interesting living situation

Somebody DOES call Social Services, with less than satisfactory results for all involved

What happens when the kids are all hot, cranky, bored and want to cool off

And of course, the manditory trip to Wal-Mart. Which may or may not be still standing afterwards.

There's more to come so stick around and keep the ideas comin!

Onward!

Read the Ninja List  
or  
Hide and Go (BLEEP) Yourself Lt. Pross  
Part 2

It's never good to wake up in the infirmary.

It's terrifying not having the slightest clue:

a. how you got there

b. where the children of the scariest people on the planet are...especially if you were supposed to be watching said children.

Maxwell Pross shot up the second he opened his eyes and instantly regretted it. His skull was hosting a big band jamboree and his left arm was numb. So it offered no support, and he tended to roll to that side when waking. Resulting in him flopping over and flailing like a loon not to fall out of the bed. Eventually regaining his balance, his brain came to the above realizations.

Oh god.

Oh god!

Oh GOD!

OH GOD!

He had no idea where the kids were. He lost the kids! Scratch that, he lost the children of:

3 deadly aliens

A meta siren and a sniper with trick arrows

A mad scientist and a guy with a super powered suit

The fastest man alive

A sorcerer

The King of Atlantis

The Dark Knight...THE FRIGGIN BATMAN

At that last thought, Pross began to panic, heart pounding in his chest. He was a dead man and no one would find his body. Any one of those angry parents could make that happen, he was sure of it. But dealing with only one was not an option; he'd have to face them all. Why did he sign on for this insanity?! His family would get the money he 'earned', but what would they tell his little brother and his folks? Feh, the League'd probably deny him ever showing up at the Mountain. Or just pull a ghost with his identity period. Holy sh-!

An amused chuckle interrupted his mental breakdown. Behind him was Martian Manhunter and a guy he'd read little about, Mr. Terrific. The guy used to be in the field a lot but he now spent most of his time on their satellite. Both were sharing a knowing look as they watched the normally composed soldier spazz out. Terrific came closer and Pross became curious about what those four silver balls circling him were. Even more so when 3 broke away from their position and buzzed about the Lieutenant like flies. When they stopped, they simply went back to orbiting the hero's head.

"Well, not much damage. You heal quite fast Lt. Pross, I believe it's one reason why you were chosen over other candidates." He said. "Don't worry, the kids are fine. When Superman found you, you'd only been...incapacitated for less than an hour or so."

"From what the children told us and the parts collected from surveillance within the mountain, you seem to have been a casualty of booby trap gone awry and unplanned bad luck." Manhunter added.

Whoa. Back up.

The last thing he remembered was playing hide and seek with the kids; he liked to think those years of seek and destroy missions gave him an edge. It was the same thing just minus the live ammo right? Wrong, same deal only with super powered tykes not machine gun fire. Then Speedy tried to kill him with an achluophobic kryptonian clone. Kid's a supervillain in the making!

"Well, while you did read the 'ninja list' as it has been dubbed, you appear to have underestimated your charges. That and Murphy's Law. The same mistake your predecessor made. On the positive side, you were aided by technology and a superior genetic make up. A normal man would be dead now." The African-american man was still giving him a small smile. "It's been a few hours."

Was that suppose to be encouraging? Hold it...

"You were chosen in part because of you biology Lieutenant. I'm pretty sure if Melrose was a metahuman, he wouldn't have had such a short employ with us. But to address the reason for your elevated heart rate and blood pressure, they are all at home with their families at the moment, except for Jaime who-"

BOOOM! A slight tremor coursed through the exam room.

"-is on the Watchtower, waiting for your discharge. Blue and Booster aren't answering their coms but it's their anniversary so..." Mr. Terrific coughed. "Would you like to see the video?"

One of the orbs projected a screen, showing him the reason his arm was like a spaghetti noodle.

Connor and Megan were in the distance playing Uno while Kid Flash was once again in the kitchen snacking on a calorie bar. Beside him was Jaime, seated on the floor and stuffing cookies in his mouth. When did the little guy get past him? Eating all that sugar can't be good either...

The ginger devil appeared just off the left side of the screen. He was whistling to himself, trying to look as innocent as possible as he rocked back and forth on his feet.

"You better stop Jaime from eating so many cookies! He'll be too full for dinner and too hyper to sleep!" he yelled.

As soon as Rocket flew in, clearly upset she had been caught, Pross watched himself rush behind her.

"Jaime, I don't think your dads want you eating all that junk-WHAAA!"

His foot graised a tripwire (where the hell had that come from?!), opening a bag of marbles that spilled across the floor in front of him. While not taunt or strong enough to actually trip him itself, the wire's payload caused him to stumble and slip about like an idiot. Like a cartoon, he pinwheeled his arms as he tried to right himself. Of course, that did squat and he fell hard onto his left arm.

Max didn't remember that but it obviously isn't what knocked him out. On the screen, he got up and groaned loudly while Speedy snickered. He glared at the boy only to have him look away and pretend to have nothing to do with his fall. Ignoring that, he proceeded to the kitchen, checking to make sure there were no more lines to trigger on the way.

"Alright, hand over the cookies kiddo."

"Pero ellos saben bien..." He managed to whine with cheeks stuffed full of chocolate chip cookies. (But they taste good...). Huge puppy dog eyes that could melt a glacier peered up at him.

"Oh boy. I need a translator...Look you can have some after dinner but not now." Pross felt a rush of air as Kid Flash sped off…then crashed into…something. What that something was remains unknown as it happened off screen. The resulting crash did start a chain reaction though. When the lights went out. Luckily, the camera was on auxillary power.

"Eeek!" That was Rocket.

"Owie!" Zatanna

"That is my foot! Get off!" Aqualad.

"Smooth move kid idiot!" Artemis.

"Shut up I slipped!" Kid Flash.

"Where is everybody?" Miss Martian.

"Es tan oscuro!" Jaime. (It's so dark!)

"AHHHHHHHH!" Superboy, pf coursed.

"Supey chill ou- WHOA!" Robin

"BWHAHAHAHA!" The Ginger Devil. "Wuh-oh..."

[Threat Detected!]

There was a large commotion that consisted of screaming, flashes of light, and the sound of something exploding followed by swearing on Pross' part before more noise, a fireball, then silence. The screen remained black for a few moments before the backup lights came on.

The area was a disaster. It tooks some time for the smoke to clear before the scene fully unfolded. 11 bodies were scattered about the destroyed rec room.

Every last child's outfit was ruined. Singed, covered in debris or soot, torn, you name it. Artemis was on the verge of crying but Speedy was holding her gently. Miss Martian, Aqualad and Jaime were motionless, out cold. Superboy sat there furthest away blinking owlishly. Rocket was mad about her hair being dirty. Robin was quiet for a moment before exclaiming:

"That. Was. ASTEROUS!" then giggling like a lunatic.

Zatanna was poking the smoldering form of Maxwell. He was burned a little and completely KOed. Then she began screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Mr. Pross went to heaven like my mommy! WHAHHHH!"

"I don't think he's dead Z, his chest is moving see?" Kid Flash assured her. It didn't stop the water works all the way. She was still sobbing.

The video ended there and Pross turned to the two heroes.

"They're all okay?"

"Yes. Atlantean and Martian physiology does not tolerate intense heat well, even in short bursts. They are both fine now and Jaime has a small bump on his head which knocked him out as well. Once Zatanna heard us say you would be fine, she stopped crying." Manhunter nodded. "The cave has been repaired as well. We are not strangers to restoring such wide scale destruction."

"Don't be too mad at Roy. He did trip you but Wally's lack of control while turning caused the blackout. Not bad for a first day huh?" Terrific chuckled.

This should have been a clear sign of things to come, and why Canada was probably lovely this time of year.

Oh, Pross. This was a GOOD day.

*end*

Well? Worth the wait? I have two other stories goin but I'm trying to work on all three so bear with me. Up next, working titles:

Read the Family Histories  
or  
WTF Do You Mean Ras Al Ghul Wants to See His Grandsons?!

Read the Playmate Files  
or  
Murphy's Law as Applied to Small Children

Don't Read too Far Into This  
or  
Kyle Has Two Daddies...But NOT Like Jaime

What's the Point of Reading the Shopping List?  
or  
Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers, Insanity in Aisles 3 through 12

Hope to update soon. Sirensoundwave out!


	7. Read the Family Histories

Hydeehoo! Sorry for the wait but I have been having some health issues; check my profile for the details.

This chapter took some doing, I had to screw with ages and histories like a mother but I go it to work. For starters, Robin (Richard Grayson), Red Robin (Tim Drake) and Red Hood (Jason Todd) are triplets (sorta...will be explained) while Damian is Jaime's age (and still a c cantankerous lil shit). The reason they aren't shown in the first chapters will be explained. Next, I'm giving Pross some help in the form of teenaged Stargirl, Batgirl and Supergirl soon. These chapters will focus only on the kids with...interesting family trees but will also introduce Lady Aurii. She's the mother of Gabriel and Sylphine from my other story but only mentioned once in that story. Just disregard the fact that she doesn't exist in the YJ reality but is Guardian of a neighboring one (that only makes sense to any one reading 'Parallels'; chapter 30 of which is 2/3 done n_n) It's her realm that the Family Day happens in, sort of a neutral zone where all parties are smart enough to not to fight. It also opens the door for Gabriel and Sylphine to be part of the play date chapters later on. This will be several parts long, not sure how many though.

Here we go!

Read the Family Histories  
or  
WTF Do You Mean Ras Al Ghul Wants to See His Grandsons?!  
Part I

Military personnel are quite used to early rising. It's a requisite. Hell in basic training you get up at an the ass crack of dawn; get showered, dressed and get your barracks sparkling clean by rushing about like your butt is on fire only to stand in formation and do NOTHING for an hour or so.* So, Pross was no stranger to being fully ready for the day before the sun had the chance to get itself out of bed. He'd lost the need for an alarm clock years ago but brought one just in case. His circadian rhythm was so tuned, he woke up before it went off anyways. He'd even programmed his desk lamp to be on a few minutes before he woke up.

Awakening to a weight on his chest and a set of blue eyes four inches from his face was completely alien to him though. His brain rapidly assessing that the weight was a small child and not an attacker kept him from flinging said baby blues across the room. Barely. Thank god for rigid training.

The kid was not Blue and Gold's child though about the same size. They had short spiky black hair, a black domino mask (evidently, if you get close enough, the color of the wearer's eyes could be discerned; go figure) and was probably male. Dressed in green shorts with a red and yellow top, the boy just glared daggers at him. How long had this kid been in his room? Who the hell was he?

"Er... hey there. Whatcha you doin here lil guy?"

Silence. Glare.

"Okay. Got a name?"

Silence. Harder glare.

"Would you mind getting off my chest so I can sit up?"

The boy remained silent. He tensed, then turned his head towards the door a split second later, clenching his tiny hands. Was he hiding from someone? Looks a little frustrated-

WHAM!

The sensation of a small fist colliding with his sternum startled the hell out of Pross. Not because the child hit him. Oh no. Because the feeling was identical to sparring with a bare knuckle boxer and being stupid enough to leave your chest exposed. With such a smooth motion, they kid's left arm jackhammered straight down and was sure to leave a bruise at least.

"Gah! Jesus Christ kid!" he groaned. The little terror slid onto the bed just as the man rolled over rubbing his chest. So, the lieutenant was not expecting a tiny foot to kick him in the lower back as he turned using his momentum to send him over the other side.

"Get up." Was the demand issued and the little brute was gone before the lieutenant scrambled off the floor. Now rather concerned, and definitely wide awake, Max set out to find the boy. Not long after beginning to search, shouts drew him to the central area of the complex.

"Stop being a crybaby Drake!"

"Quit being mean to Timmy!"

"Shut it Grayson!"

"Stop shoving!"

"Grrrr! That's it!"

The sound of tussling grew louder as Pross approached the rec room. What he saw there was...um...

Three boys, all spitting images of each other. Two dressed in Robin costumes (One favoring red, green and yellow, the other red, black and yellow) and a third with what looked like a set of futuristic red and black Raybans dressed like a biker. They were fighting on the floor as a silver topped man in a butler outfit wearing a domino mask looked on with slight disinterest from the kitchen area. Actually, it seemed as if he were ignoring them in favor of glancing at a list ever so often and rummaging around in one of four backpacks on the counter. Only briefly did his eyes wander to the boys. Holding on to his coat tails was that mystery brat. Now sucking his thumb but still glaring at Pross. How does that happen with a mask on?!

"Young Masters, what are the rules for family day visits?" The butler asked without looking up. Instantly, the trio froze at the authority hidden in the soft British accent.

"Um, no fighting? But we haven't left yet and they're being wimps!" Raybans huffed. "They started it!"

"I was referring to the number of volatile compounds and weapons in your back packs." Masked Butler, as Pross mentally labeled him, continued unphased.

"Grampa's gonna show us how to make all kinds of explosives today." One Robin said. He looked like the one that he's regularly seen for the past few days.

"Mama wants us to show her our combat skills too." The other Robin said eagerly.

"If they are successful in bringing the necessary items to Everlie, which I doubt they will be, I'm sure your father would have no objections. However, the burden falls on Mr. and Miss Al Ghul to do so not you. The Lady has prohibited such things in her realm."

"Awww..."

Al Ghul? Could he mean...? Nah...

'Remember where you are dope.' His mental voice urged. 'Dismiss nothing!'

"Ah, Good Morning Lt. Pross." Masked Butler greeted. "From the sore spot you seem to be nursing, I see you recieved one of Master Damian's wake up calls. Now I know where he went when we arrived."

"Er..." 'Very intelligent response' Mental Pross rolled his eyes.

"Hmm. I was assured that over priced PDA would have notified you of the importance of today. Or one of the children would have. In any case, I am known as Agent A, butler to the Bat-Family. You already know of one of the triplets, Master Robin. His brothers are Red Robin and Red Hood. Damian is the youngest. Usually three of them remain at the manor with myself as the League felt it unfair to unleash all four horsemen upon you at once. However today is Family Day and you will have fewer charges than the norm." The older man mused. " There other children and your...assistants for the day will arrive around 07:30.I suggest you use the next few hours understanding the significance of this event. And perhaps put on a pair of trousers."

Pross was a bit embarrassed to realize he was standing shirtless in his boxers. Satisfied that there wasn't some random freakishly strong child running about the Mountain (freakishly strong yes, random not so much) though our favorite military man went to get himself together. It was 5:34, plenty of time; he could afford to take his time before reading more of 'The Manual'. A nice long hot shower to soothe the bruises forming in the center of his chest and lower back was the first order of business. Next he dressed in his VMI tee shirt and a pair of tanned cargo pants. With his life saving suit underneath, armbands like gauntlets around his wrists. While brushing his teeth, he scrolled to the calendar on his datapad and selected the link for today.

Family Day  
Many children of League members have dubious origins; some are the biological offspring of some of the world's most notorious villains. However, we are not in the habit of denying a child time with their family...so long as there is an understanding on the part of all parties that violence and deceptive or aggressive behavior will not be tolerated. The ability to chose their own paths in life is a right granted to all. For this reason, every Sunday this summer will be Family Day. The children will spend the entire day with their non custodial parent(s) under the supervision of a League appointed chaperone as ordered by the domestic courts.

Family Days are to occur within the Realm of Everlie; a dimension ruled by a powerful sorceress named Lady Aurii. As a favor to the League, she has agreed to host these events in order to ensure no acts of subversion or abduction attempts happen. All potentially dangerous items are subject to her approval before being allowed pass through the barrier. The Justice League, The Light, and League of Shadows and and any or all affiliates have no jurisdiction whatsoever in Everlie and recognize disregard for the terms of this truce may lead to severe punishment, possibly death.

Artemis  
Her birth parents are the retired Huntress and the not so retired Sportsmaster. Unable to care for her after their divorce, she gave her youngest daughter up for adoption; their older child, Cheshire, had already chosen to be with her father. Both parents and Cheshire are apart of each Family Day.

Aqualad  
Black Manta is his birth father and mortal enemy of Aquaman. Kaldur's mother, a close friend of Queen Mera, died in labor but named Mera his Godmother before passing. As Manta was not in Atlantis at the time, Kaldur has been raised as the Prince of Atlantis since.

Superboy  
Genetically, Superboy is the son of Lex Luthor, Superman and Lois Lane. Luther has been apart of the clone's life since 'birth' much to his parent's chagrin.

Robin, Red Hood, Red Robin and Damian  
The most complicated history. The first three boys are the exact same age, down to the day but are not technically related, despite how similar they look. They were all adopted by Batman but Damian (same birthday only younger) is the son of Batman and Talia Al Ghul, Ras Al Ghul's daughter by birth. She considers all four her sons and by extension Ras their Grandfather.

Pross first did a double take, just staring at the document with his toothbrush hanging in his mouth. Robin has brothers all born on the same day but not related. Okay... odd but not really that bad...

Who the hell shares custody of innocent (debatable) little kids with a bunch of wackadoodles? They expected him to be in the same 100 ft radius as some of the worst supervillains in the world?! WTF?!

Oh this was sure to be the most interesting day of his life. So far.

*line break*

Dun...dun...DUN! Oh boy, this can't end well. Reviews are like hugs guys! Until next time Sirensoundwave, out

*My mom used to tell me that's how it was for her in the Navy, even for some time after basic training. Proud to know she was one of the first women to serve on a submarine waayy back in the 70's n_n


	8. Read the Family Histories Part 2

hola! Still alive. Chapter 33 of Parallels is coming soon and I'm trying to make the next chapter of Nightfall ffnet friendly; it involves how Klarion became interested in Artemis and Zatanna...and what happens when he goes after one of them.

This chapter introduces some of Pross' help and gives him more of a peek into this wacky world he's contractually obligated to be a part of all summer :P

Read the Family Histories

Or

WTF Do Yo Mean Ra's al Ghul Wants to See his Grandkids?! Part II

After getting dressed Pross returned to the playroom to observe the boys...and Agent A. What he found was surprising.

Red Hood was a lil psycho, though it was a toss up as to whether or not it was preferable to Speedy's brand of crazy. Rude as hell and picking fights with his brothers just for the hell of it , violence seemed to be his method of expression. He was also a pyro; demonstrating this by disposing of several 'contraband' items taken from his backpack with a goddamned flame thrower. Once again, who gives this shit to a child?! Just as urgent, where was he hiding said flame thrower?..

Red robin was the polar opposite. He seemed timid and quiet. Well mannered, respectful and just a tad hyper; he conveyed an 'I'm cute and sweet, therefore harmless' vibe. And every fiber of the marine's being railed against that feeling. This boy lived with Batman, harmless was NOT a quality assigned to the Batclan. Prime example: Batgirl.

Robin seemed a weird combo of the two. Pretty sweet but kinda nutty. He played the part of mediator in their scuffles but they seemed to devolve onto brawls often. Curious and precocious. A horrible set of traits for a master hacker/ninja.

He was informed that Damien rarely spoke...with words. A toddler had mastered the Batglare and was disproportionately strong for his size. At the moment that was all he really knew of the little demon. He imagined it would go downhill from there though.

Agent A was most likely the world's deadliest manservant. Nothing these children did fazed the elderly British man. When Red Hood whipped out his 'toy' all the butler did was calmly announce, "You may wish to move." Seconds later the counter containing the weapons Pross leaned in to inspect was on fire. At about the same time Damien and Red Robin (who were in the rafters with Robin) lost their footing letting out two panicked shrieks. With the grace and speed of a cheetah Agent A vaulted over the flaming counter with a flying leap to snag one child with each hand.

"Do be more careful Master Tim. Master Damien."

"Sorry." Both looked at their feet once he set them down.

"Quite. Master Jason-" The sprinkler system went off over the kitchenette soaking Red Hood, Pross and the burning counter at that exact moment.

"Blegh!" The boy sputtered indignantly. Robin and Red Robin cracked up. Damien made a noise that sounded something like 'nyah, nyah'.

"Figures." Pross rolled his eyes as he was doused.

"-you are familiar with the broom closet. I expect that area to be thoroughly cleaned before departure."

"(sigh) Yessir." The Ray Ban wearing boy grumbled as he turned to towards the cleaning supply room.

Maxwell just stared. What. The. Hell. Would anything about these people make sense? He could barely pull off that move so how did a guy pushing 70 (at least) do it without breaking a sweat?! The gun holster under his suit jacket didn't help the image either.

"I was an intelligence agent to the crown in my younger days if you are wondering Lt. Pross. Then spent 25 rather peaceful years watching Batman grow up. Expected to keep up the traditions of my forefathers and all that. I do rather enjoy how this family helps me maintain those skills though. My youth as well." The butler chuckled at the young man's expression.

Recognized Supergirl, Recognized Batgirl, Recognized Superboy

"Real convenient cousin Kal can't drop the lil spore off." A tall blond teen rockin the Man of Steel's color scheme huffed as she appeared in a flash of light.

"Kara I think you got played. Uncle B promised me a Benz if I helped keep the 4H from killing the new nanny." A redhead in a bat themed costume sighed, walking in behind her. "I got it in legally binding writing before I showed up. Beats busting my ass in a mailroom all summer to save up peanuts for a hoopty. But you can fly and run like hell so that bribe wouldn't work on you."

"So lying to me is okay?"

"Actually Cousin Kara, Dad didn't lie. Batman called our house this morning." Superboy yawned rubbing his eyes. "But mom did yell at him about being as...asignine. She knew you'd be mad."

Ah, out of the mouths of babes. Always as subtle as a flying mallet.

"Think you mean 'asinine' kiddo." Batgirl sighed. "Supes knows you can't stand Luthor."

"Would you wanna be around a guy who wants to keep you in a display case like a doll?"

Batgirl cringed at that, recalling some past horror. She looked down to see Superboy tugging both their capes. His expression was irritated.

"I'm still here." Connor huffed. "My father isn't that bad."

"Your 'father' is a megalomaniac cuz." Supergirl crossed her arms.

"Hey! Mom used that word too! What's it meeeean?" The Boy of Steel whined.

Awesome. Not only does Superman have a cousin, she's angry at being here. Her friend only seems to care about her pay off. How was this gonna work out for him?Pross didn't really have time to wonder. The two blurs that ran out of the Zeta tube bowled him over before he could ask.

Short but still, the picture gets a bit clearer. Up next, Stargirl arrives with the Arrow kids, Aquaman drops of Kaldur and the portal to Everlie is opened. Reviews are like hugs n_n Sirensoundwave out.


End file.
